Help me help you

Posted by Adrenalynn on 20 April 2011

I’m good at a lot of things, and telling people what not to do is what I do best. Naturally I practice this skill as often as I can, which I’m sure only contributes to my charming and magnetic personality. And today, dear reader, I bring this aspect of my awesomeness to you. Enjoy.

I’m not very fashion forward. This may be a little hard to believe as I tend to dress to stand out, but the truth is I don’t adapt to new styles easily. I’ve just recently bought my very first high-waisted pair of jeans, for instance. I’m still not sold on those though; as I feel they shorten my legs, widen my hips and elongate my butt – but that’s beside the point. It takes me a while to embrace something new (or re-new, seeing as styles tend to reappear every few decades), but I tend to give in eventually. However, there are a few trends I will never, ever understand or surrender to. Allow me to demonstrate:

Harem pants. They’re all the rage these days, apparently. But as much as I want to like them (they do seem comfy after all), I just can’t. I mean, look at them:

Even the model looks terrible, and that truly is an accomplishment in itself.

Adult onesies. Say it with me: “Adult onesies”. It just sounds wrong. And it is. I’m not saying you should dress up in your Sunday best while vegging around at home picking lint from between your toes, but please don’t do it while looking like a giant baby. Anything that could make this gorgeous young woman look fat and ugly is a big no-no in my opinion:

The slightly more fashionable version doesn’t quite float my boat either:

Underwear as outerwear. There’s a reason why it’s called underwear, people. If you’re smart enough to read, you should be smart enough to know better than to dress like this:

I know it’s not fair to condemn a trend simply because Taylor Momsen has embraced it somewhat exclusively, but these runway looks aren’t that much better, honestly:

This concludes today’s public service announcement. You’re welcome. Now, go put on some real pants.

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