The list of available baby names gets so much bigger once you start to open up for names like Fido and Lassie!
Posted by Adrenalynn on 15 May 2009
When I first became a mother a friend asked me what it was like to have a baby. “Oh, it’s just like having a pet,” I said nonchalantly. She immediately broke down laughing and told me I’d soon eat my words.
That baby is now three years old and his one year old brother is becoming less like a pet and more like a force of nature every day, but I still stand by my words: having a baby is exactly like having a dog. (And everything looks way cooler and more important in italics.)
For you skeptics out there I’ve taken the liberty of compiling this convenient, easy-to-read list:
1. They drool excessively. Is there any difference between being soaked in baby drool or doggy drool? I think not.
2. They eat off of the floor. Eew, gross. I may have to start thinking about vacuuming one of these days.
3. They chew on your shoes. Preferably the pretty, delicate ones.
4.They beg at the table. And my three year old feeds it him.
5. They can’t speak a single word understandable to humans. “Woof!” or “Dada!” makes equal sense.
6. They have an unnatural attraction to toilets. My kid tries to climb into the toilet several times a day, which is getting kind of annoying. Who’s got time to scrub that thing every month?! Sheesh.
7. They eat paper. Digging a fistful of half-chewed paper out of a baby’s mouth is no walk in the park; those teeth are sharp! But it’s also great for getting out of missing a deadline. There’s no reason why “The baby ate my homework” shouldn’t work like a charm.
8.They scratch you with their non-retractable claws. I’ve got scratches all over my upper body from my kid’s ridiculously sharp fingernails. Can you get a baby declawed?
9. You have to walk them like, all the time. Who knew babies really like being outside?
10.They get all annoyed if you leave the house without them. And leaving food doesn’t help at all.
I rest my case.
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Tell me about it… Still, a complaining dog could easily be stowed away in the garage.
I guess that means I’m kinda sorta pregnant with my first child then cuz Jake and I are on the verge of getting our first pet. I’m changing my Facebook status to “expecting.”
xs last blog post..Jake’s Manhood is on Probation
Oh my God, I love this
Good to know such things about kids!
My Life Thinkings last blog post..Is it Really Hard for a Man to Live Alone?
Have you been having problems with your site? This is the first time I could access it in a few days. : ( Seriously, what is with kids and toilets?
nice and funny information you have!
Mikes@Your Daily Words last blog post..Restore to me the Joy of my Salvation
Hehehe I never thought about it but I think you’re right!
Rart det der med at doen er så interessant. Vi har hittil måttet fiske opp en telefon og et smykke etter at det har blitt slengt nedi der av vår minste. (Største er altfor fornuftig til å gjøre sånt!) Lurer på hva som blir det neste han kaster nedi der…
keekaboos last blog post..Rømmegrøt
smykket var i en uspylt. deilig start på dagen…
keekaboos last blog post..Rømmegrøt
I want those white shoes…nay, I NEED them!! Brand? Store? How unhappy will I be when you tell me how impossible it will be to get some?
haha. mye å glede seg til, skjønner jeg.
nadjas last blog post..DAGENS FINSTAS – 170509
Hilarious Adenalynn, just hilarious. And so true.
You missed off, you can walk them around on a lead. Or is that just me?
Tara@Sticky Fingerss last blog post..Green
Hmmm I could really get used to your blog. Lol @ the comparisms
Eg har vurdert å begynne med baby-produksjonen eller om vi rett og slett berre skal ta å kjøpa oss ein hund, men etter dette innlegget blir nok alle planer lagt bort på ubestemt tid.
I have thought about that comparison since I got my puppy last October. The only difference is you can’t throw your pillow over your head and ignore your baby when it is whining about something, or leave it for several hours at a time without a bathroom/diaper change break. The rest that you listed though, sounds about right!
~ Kristi
Kikolanis last blog post..Kikolani – The First Year
I biggered your closet (’cause I’m nosey like that,) and am ‘way impressed by your radical shoes, the boots especially – what’s that? brass heels? Too cool.
Thanks for popping over to Funstertown, via Lance’s!
Jannie Funsters last blog post..Bord on a wire, 9 & 10 1/2
LOL – We put hook locks on the outside of the bathroom door to keep my daughter out when she was a baby. She’s almost 7 now so I don’t need to lock her out of the bathroom but the hook lock is still there. Visitors often wonder why the lock is on the OUTSIDE of the door
Kim Woodbridges last blog post..How to Edit and Delete Facebook Applications
Um, you mean you don’t do that with your kid…?
Congratulations! You must be so happy! And now you have an excuse for eating for two.
I aim to educate the masses! Thanks
Yes, the site’s pretty much been down for a couple of days, and I haven’t been able to figure out why! I’m thinking Google, but I’m not sure. Thanks for coming back and trying, though
I really love your site!
Thank you so much!
Phew, I’m glad you agree- at least my kids aren’t the only ones! Thanks for stumbling!
I know! Jeg har fisket opp mer enn en bil, for å si det sånn… Og det er jammen ikke alltid jeg har rukket å spylt ned. Lar det være med det.
I bought them fom an eBay store along with another pair of delicious heels that are impossible to walk in. I’ll see if I can find the exact store for you, but I basically did a search for heels in eBay stores. And a million beauties appeared… how are we supposed to choose?
Oh, why didn’t I think of that? Can you believe I haven’t read about this in a single parenting book? You and I should totally write one.
Å ja! Endeløs moro!
Haha
Så glad jeg er for å kunne opplyse massene! Eller deg, alt etter som. Du har vel egentlig nok med Daniel…?
Thanks! Glad I amuse you
Good point! Too bad babies aren’t as quick to potty train as puppies are!
Hey, my closet is your closet. As long as you don’t actually put on any of my shoes, though. Or open the one with all my mess. Ok, fine, who am I kidding? The three closets with all my mess. Happy?
Those heels are made of some… rubbery, yet hard substance that confuses me. But they’re bouncy! See, they’re Nike, and you know how crazy those child laborers are!
AWESOME! I recently read another blogger’s story about how she sawed off the top half of the doors to her children’s rooms so they couldn’t come out when they were supposed to be napping. She wanted to be able to lock the doors without actually locking them in…
I also love how you STILL haven’t removed the lock. You are truly a woman after my own heart!