Things that confuse me, let me tell you them.
Posted by Adrenalynn on 8 July 2010
1. When two people are (insert low, suggestive voice here) in the bedroom in movies and it’s so romantic that you feel compelled to throw something at the TV – why, oh, why is the room always filled with lit candles? I mean, who has taken the time to light all the candles? Won’t it get dreadfully hot in there? What if her hair accidentally catches on fire? And more importantly, who are these people that bother blowing them out after the camera fades to black? In a movie I saw recently, the man suddenly and unexpectedly swept the woman into his arms and with great passion threw open the closed double doors that lead to her bedroom, where a candle was already lit. Did she anticipate his surprise visit, and furthermore, that one thing would so conveniently lead to another before the candle burned down?
2. I don’t understand laws that are made for the sole purpose of protecting people from themselves. I mean, a law that protects me from being harmed by any one of the billons of idiots that seem to habituate this Earth, that I can get behind. But when one of said idiots forgets to put his helmet on when he takes his motorcycle out for a spin into the nearest ditch? That’s natural selection. And really, who are we to mess with evolution?
3. Condoms in public restrooms. Say it with me; condoms in public restrooms. Do we really need to prepare for -and encourage- spontaneous intercourse in filthy, public venues?
4. Justin Bieber. Enough said.
5. I always wonder -and this is me getting all serious now, can you tell?- about people who devote their lives to saving animals. These people spend ridiculous amounts of time and resources rescuing stranded whales or lost ferrets or helping squirrels with broken ankles, but couldn’t care less about starving babies in underdeveloped countries or even helping people that struggle in their own neighborhoods. I can’t believe the air time devoted to various “Pet Rescue” shows, and yet nobody gives a crap about people who are dedicated to helping other people. This may seem a little contradictory to number 2 on my list, but I obviously don’t mean we should start helping annoying people. That’s even dumber than protesting against killing bunnies for fur.
Naturally, this is merely a limited sample of the massive confusion that is my thoughts at any given time. Consider this my gift to you. You’re welcome.
I you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it or subscribing via RSS or by e-mail to receive free updates. And leave a comment while you're at it. Thank you!
1: And WHO ARE THE PERVERTS FILMING THEM, eeeeewwwww!
2: Nevermind
3: Naturally, we don't want the potential restroom condom buyers soon to use said product to procreate.
4: http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/1…
5: I do not know, Lynn. Then again, some people buy condoms at public restrooms. And some people like Justin Bieber.
Jarle; do you have an endless supply of cartoon strips up your sleeve so you can bring the funny to any occation? Oh, and you've convinced me; I am now pro condom vending machines.
Lynn,
Gosh…I'm honored to get this very lovely gift from you! (it's my lucky day…)
Speaking of lucky…condom vending machines…now there's a business to get into. And have you ever noticed (I"m sure you have) that these machines are only in the dirtiest of restrooms. What does that say, anyway????
Okay – I'd make this longer, except I'm off to save the American nightcrawler (Save The Worm! – I'm thinking tv documentary…). Maybe one of our stops will be in your neck of the woods – and then you can join me – and perhaps be as famous as I'll become from this great worm cause.
(hmmm…so much for short….)
You know, Lance; I have indeed noticed that these lovely vending machines are ever present in the dirtiest restrooms known to man. I hope you came out of the hunt in one piece? I sure do not need that mental image, so you'd better!
“Natural Selection” LOL! My husband will get a good chuckle over that one. But hey — I thought there were no idiots in Norway??
You all seem so sane and evolved.
Animals, poor sweet animals. Poor sweet children. Abuse or neglect of either tears my heart up. Both suck. I guess the best we can do is love our children with all our might, and show so much compassion and caring to them, it reverberates out to all the abusive idiots everywhere that there are eventually none left!! And lack of motorcycle helmet wearing will take care of the rest of them.
But enough of that, I gotta go light 100 candles in anticipation of a night of tv watching..
xo
Oh the Biebernator. He cracks me up!
> That’s natural selection. And really, who are we to mess with evolution?
Beautiful words of wisdom
J.D; such an honor from the master of words of wisdom